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Sparkleaf

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Sparkleaf
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2254
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Sparkleaf's last visitors

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Sparkleaf's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Sparkleaf's badges

Sparkleaf's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15052) - you deserved it (6495)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (6429)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31365) - you deserved it (2396)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (2172)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

#20095343
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (2760)

On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8500) - you deserved it (23329)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

#20092583
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16488) - you deserved it (6763)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by GEE, THANKS DAD (woman) - United States

Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML

#20092131
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20667) - you deserved it (2084)

On 09/28/2012 at 10:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

#20091853
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (1961)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:34am - health - by red_headforlife - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14804) - you deserved it (23128)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30230) - you deserved it (2174)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, I started a job on a building site. Halfway through, I needed to use the toilet. One of the builders said there were two of them; one was "OK" and the other was "nasty." The first one I walked into had the foulest stench imaginable. Apparently, that was the "OK" one. FML

#20090541
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15901) - you deserved it (1279)

On 09/27/2012 at 1:22am - work - by theotherotherguy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML

#20077937
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (1221)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by useyourownbed (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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