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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37617) - you deserved it (4429)
On 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm - money - by a little less poor at least (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37092) - you deserved it (2936)
On 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm - misc - by unlucky - United States (Illinois)
Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49335) - you deserved it (5946)
On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37344) - you deserved it (7306)
On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45525) - you deserved it (5039)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML
I agree, your life sucks (46976) - you deserved it (2899)
On 04/18/2013 at 4:34pm - misc - by bhnja_ (man) - Philippines (Mandaue)
Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37558) - you deserved it (4966)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:26am - kids - by cowgirl927 - United States
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48630) - you deserved it (3779)
On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59864) - you deserved it (6188)
On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)
Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (7255)
On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)
Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62237) - you deserved it (2563)
On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35942) - you deserved it (13508)
On 04/14/2013 at 5:58am - kids - by jasminejzhu (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39302) - you deserved it (14735)
On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to sell over $400 worth of china at a flea market. I barely got paid enough to refill my gas tank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29241) - you deserved it (6461)
On 04/13/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54527) - you deserved it (9164)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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