About Sparkiee93 : You're all jews I swear.
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Sparkiee93's favorite FMLs
by itchybollos / 09/16/2010 at 5:04am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by fmlskank93 / 09/01/2010 at 7:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by diesel444 / 08/23/2010 at 1:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 1:14am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML
by Chris / 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML
by Thepunchline / 08/11/2010 at 5:19am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Health
by Zippermania9 / 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML
by Broken / 08/03/2010 at 8:11am / United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi) / Love
by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
by squidwardpotatoes / 11/14/2009 at 6:08am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2009 at 12:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…