Spanky08

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Offline (the 08/15/2015 at 6:29am)

Spanky08

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 February 1983 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1401
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Spanky08's page activity

Visits<b>KillerReader827</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:01pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:11am<b>Eire17</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 4:55pm

Spanky08's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Spanky08's favorite FMLs

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

by pimpslaprequired / 08/03/2012 at 9:52pm / United States / Kids

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

by soph511 / 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

by Uncircumcised Penis / 07/24/2012 at 5:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML

by screw the cat / 07/24/2012 at 1:10am / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

by nick / 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 11:41am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML

by poolboy / 07/23/2012 at 12:28am / Kids

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health