About SpRiTzSpLaSh : It's because of my affliction, isn't it?
SpRiTzSpLaSh's FML badges
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
SpRiTzSpLaSh's favorite FMLs
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
by chieftain / 05/09/2012 at 3:34pm / Norway (Vestfold) / Love
Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
by mal / 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML
by coffeeshopgirl / 05/07/2012 at 8:25pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went with my boyfriend to the optometrist for him to buy contact lenses for the first time. He said the detail was much better than glasses. I excitedly asked him if he could see my freckles better now, and after a long and disappointed look at my face, he said "Nope, just more acne." FML
by Anonymous / 05/06/2012 at 12:41am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Health
Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML
by AnonymousUser / 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by anonymous4991 / 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
by f*ck / 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm / United States / Love
by tillyg15 / 05/02/2012 at 7:18am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Work
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love