Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Sp4de

Search for a member

Sp4de

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 238
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Sp4de : Hey ya'll, Barry here! I'm a hippopotamus located in the Congo. Being as one of the largest semi-aquatic animals, I have a huge diet I must fulfill so I am privileged enough to be able to eat anything and everything. Hobbies include eating, bathing, and spending time with my hippo compadres.

Looking for a hippo girlfriend that isn't a picky eater! Message me for more details, ladies.

Sp4de's page activity

Visits<b>pinkivy</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:34pm<b>bromeister</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 12:46pm<b>beerlaoisawesome</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 11:29am<b>unsocialtowel</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:37pm<b>julesvasquez</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 5:46pm<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 11:34am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 11:35pm<b>nelson_92</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 12:12am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:08am<b>Lilybreeze</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:23pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 10:06am<b>tadienae</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 1:28am<b>whatwhatindayeah</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 3:08am<b>feeshcake</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 1:00am<b>alllisonnn</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Rawr6591</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 10:54pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 1:15pm<b>d2d2d2</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm

Sp4de's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Sp4de's badges

Sp4de's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51162) - you deserved it (7674)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55179) - you deserved it (5160) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39441) - you deserved it (8093) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (2825)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54357) - you deserved it (6884)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45002) - you deserved it (4767)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39870) - you deserved it (4504)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

#20912116
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38259) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:09am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31283) - you deserved it (5432)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

#17531478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26415) - you deserved it (2140)

On 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by lala7 - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: