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Offline (the 10/15/2016 at 4:53am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 July 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1475
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Soviet_American : I'm a Marine. I do mixed martial arts (MMA), I play baseball and hockey, and I like to watch sports. Fishing and hunting are other things I like to do. Oh yeah, I do parquor/free running.

Soviet_American's page activity

Visits<b>ponchoman7</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 9:28pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 3:35pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 2:23pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 3:22am<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 7:07pm<b>dumbmotherinlaw</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 9:08am<b>QualityChrisTime</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 12:12pm<b>amymarie1234</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 8:07am<b>Blacktiger7221</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 11:43pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 9:38pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 12:52pm<b>airriderz15</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 8:35pm<b>jebs03</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 7:43pm<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 8:10pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 1:53pm<b>newthoughts_</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 4:41am<b>thatcrazygiirl</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 8:39am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 5:30pm

Fucked!<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 3:19pm<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 2:10am<b>sabby7</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:48am<b>coyotefox</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:30am<b>gwyneth_jade</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:05am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 1:26am<b>Anushka</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 8:01pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:35am<b>lahutchins</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:08am<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 8:02am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 9:28pm<b>unicornpornHD</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 7:36pm<b>coortaknee</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 7:31pm<b>Perplexed_Aris</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 3:41pm<b>MidnightRain3</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 9:06am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 1:23am<b>leonagail7</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 5:30am<b>Caroline1812</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 2:41am

Soviet_American's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Soviet_American's badges

Soviet_American's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to fix my wife's brakes and change her oil before I worked on my truck. Seven hours later both vehicles are unusable. FML

Today, while out for a jog, I noticed that you never know how fast you run until you're being followed by someone in a car you don't know, and they're continuously honking at you. I later found out it my dad in his new car. FML

by CROCKIN5150 / 03/14/2016 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I spent the day sobbing in my bedroom and talking shit about him on Facebook after blocking him. He ended up changing his mind and calling me, asking me to take him back. Now I have to awkwardly explain to everyone that we're back together. FML

by chiara / 08/26/2015 at 6:25am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Love

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids

Today, while working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sell dildos. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2015 at 11:22am / United States / Work

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

by hfs palm / 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm / United States / Kids

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML

by JillianJuneBug / 05/16/2015 at 12:16pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

by Basically_ / 05/11/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

by anonymousyo / 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

by 21ShitCleaner / 04/21/2015 at 8:51am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML

by me / 04/19/2015 at 9:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2015 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous