Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SoulAmeliorate

Search for a member

SoulAmeliorate

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 653
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SoulAmeliorate : If I'm not online, I'm probably out getting Headlight Fluid.

SoulAmeliorate's page activity

Visits<b>Hildy93</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:29am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 2:58pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 4:02pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 3:17am<b>mattatom17</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:00pm<b>footballguy55</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 3:04pm<b>manateesarecool</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 11:09am<b>EpicGuy70</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:58am<b>southernbelle28</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 2:44am<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 12:53pm<b>elmatador615</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:17am<b>Straya_for_life</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 8:00pm<b>SweetSwede</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 5:05pm<b>jessibellasmiles</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 4:53pm<b>TM24D</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 11:20pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 9:32pm<b>Vanilla43</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 1:54pm

SoulAmeliorate's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of SoulAmeliorate's badges

SoulAmeliorate's favorite FMLs

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30357) - you deserved it (33300)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63146) - you deserved it (14380)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

#20683298
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41306) - you deserved it (3931)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54941) - you deserved it (4273)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

#20679441
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42624) - you deserved it (2797)

On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41983) - you deserved it (2451)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

#20677224
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35056) - you deserved it (2868)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39162) - you deserved it (2962)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43372) - you deserved it (5865)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50408) - you deserved it (4873)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML

#20662901
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33849) - you deserved it (18395)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55527) - you deserved it (3943)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

#20649324
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39904) - you deserved it (5012)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58599) - you deserved it (4481)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45506) - you deserved it (6091)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: