Someone_somewere

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Someone_somewere

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 July 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2093
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Someone_somewere : no

Someone_somewere's page activity

Visits<b>BlackRosey_</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 4:35pm<b>Paras_800</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 7:55pm<b>acorn2222</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:53pm<b>JustALittleOff</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:15pm<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:43pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 7:55am<b>zack_decker</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 9:06pm<b>GotItWow</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 9:55am<b>meepmerp</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 1:24am<b>Metzler31</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 7:34pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:38am<b>ha</b> - the 06/29/2010 at 12:15am<b>velvel</b> - the 05/13/2010 at 9:50am<b>kybabyy</b> - the 05/13/2010 at 3:23am<b>kyle_kbo20</b> - the 07/06/2009 at 3:07pm

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Someone_somewere's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

by _The__Doctor_ / 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

by AllegroRubato / 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

by confused / 09/28/2011 at 12:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

by doesnttastegood / 02/01/2010 at 5:23am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous