SomeDumbass

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Offline (the 03/14/2016 at 10:16pm)

SomeDumbass

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 998
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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SomeDumbass's page activity

Visits<b>ACASEOFU</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 12:47pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:31pm<b>wow2mylife</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 9:40am<b>pperalta</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:41pm<b>KayDee29</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 12:40am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:14pm<b>melons</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Ladisa</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 7:27pm<b>Gracemonique3</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:55am<b>Sheah_95</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:11pm<b>ch17</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 10:54pm<b>emilytuttle</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 10:34pm<b>rootbeercheese8</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 9:37pm<b>a2dox</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 9:13am<b>missesmathers85</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 5:52pm<b>pitapizzaparty</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 3:17am<b>rainbowkiller</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 11:33pm<b>Leanne798</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:42pm

Fucked!<b>rootbeercheese8</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 3:37am

SomeDumbass's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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SomeDumbass's favorite FMLs

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I was walking down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, when a seemingly sweet old man said to him, "Hey, you've got to hold her hand properly". I asked him to show me what properly meant. He licked my hand. FML

by peak4u / 10/09/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

by sothishappened / 05/20/2014 at 5:54am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

by Felicityfrank / 05/01/2014 at 10:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

by Sue Ellen / 04/21/2014 at 11:43am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

by BetterThanChocolate / 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

by Kaddiscott / 01/20/2014 at 5:12am / Italy (Trentino-Alto Adige) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

by FattestUgliestPerson / 01/18/2014 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Kids

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2013 at 4:15pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Work

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

by Kyle / 12/03/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

by Sherressa / 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

by fuck my eyeballs / 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Work