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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17119
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Somber's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:57pm<b>iqbaleh</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:31am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:30pm<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 10:24pm<b>soccerchic64life</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 9:34pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 2:00am<b>APrincess11</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 6:57pm<b>maximum31337</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 8:31am<b>username666</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 5:19pm<b>poopooface</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 7:47pm<b>Hazygoose</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 10:35pm<b>leyalu</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 4:04am<b>timemaster666666</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 6:10pm<b>deathbybutterfly</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 5:55pm<b>BeanieBaby</b> - the 04/01/2009 at 7:31pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:57pm

Somber's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Somber's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

by saynotochrispine / 07/28/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Georgia) / Geek

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

by webperson04 / 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

by PTKFML / 07/26/2009 at 12:37am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

by rbates / 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my auto-repairman told me my heavy mass of keys was bad for the ignition switch and suggested I separate my house and car keys. I began to carry my car keys and lock the house keys in my glovebox. My car was stolen. I now have car keys but no car and a house with no house key. FML

by LockedOut / 07/24/2009 at 8:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

by Rory / 07/23/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2009 at 4:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I was performing in the musical 'Cabaret'. I was playing a Nazi soldier, swastika armband and all. Someone thought it would be funny to take my real clothes while I was on stage. I had to walk a mile back my house with my costume on. Someone threw eggs at me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes for the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. FML

by nottananny / 07/21/2009 at 4:49am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

by emperor / 07/21/2009 at 1:38am / Bangladesh (Dhaka) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé and I toured our dream home. I was so excited about it that I posted all kinds of pictures of it on Facebook. My Boss' daughter just called and said she loved my pictures so much she made an offer on the house. We were 1 week away from making an offer. FML

by Homeless / 07/13/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Money