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Somber

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Somber
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15040
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

#12110057
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27655) - you deserved it (9207)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by cameltoeyourface (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10612) - you deserved it (105576)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10612) - you deserved it (105576)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

#12006480
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39881) - you deserved it (4008)

On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32449) - you deserved it (2823)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

#11989675
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55187) - you deserved it (3329)

On 07/19/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States

Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML

#11986372
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15409) - you deserved it (58185)

On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92722) - you deserved it (5266)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML

#11960471
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20744) - you deserved it (17781)

On 07/18/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by holly (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML

#11945278
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31901) - you deserved it (2655)

On 07/17/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized if you leave a can of soda in parked car during a heatwave it will explode all over everything. My car is like a human glue trap. FML

#11895000
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17528) - you deserved it (21652)

On 07/15/2010 at 5:31am - misc - by bigmikenyc - United States

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47693) - you deserved it (3990)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9455) - you deserved it (33880)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36084) - you deserved it (9466)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don't know what's worse, that I'm not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML

#11798566
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24952) - you deserved it (7405)

On 07/10/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by hello - Jordan (Amman Governorate)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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