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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22103) - you deserved it (7016)
On 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by cameltoeyourface (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How is the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8330) - you deserved it (78993)
On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34466) - you deserved it (3096)
On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30753) - you deserved it (2702)
On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48935) - you deserved it (2531)
On 07/19/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States
Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13080) - you deserved it (45869)
On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74237) - you deserved it (3668)
On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocks on the door and introduces himself with a smile, says he wants to know my "schedule." I reply, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he retorts, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (443) - you deserved it (12408)
On 07/18/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by holly (woman) - Germany (Berlin)
Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (2530)
On 07/17/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I realized if you leave a can of soda in parked car during a heatwave it will explode all over everything. My car is like a human glue trap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15766) - you deserved it (16814)
On 07/15/2010 at 5:31am - misc - by bigmikenyc - United States
Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML
I agree, your life sucks (39765) - you deserved it (2906)
On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7823) - you deserved it (25320)
On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30442) - you deserved it (7342)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don't know what's worse, that I'm not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (6005)
On 07/10/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by hello - Jordan (Amman Governorate)
Today, I lost my job because I was late. I was late because I had no alarm. I had no alarm because my roommate got mad and broke my phone when I beat her at scrabble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29566) - you deserved it (4005)
On 07/10/2010 at 10:57am - work - by Really? - United States (Wisconsin)
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