Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Soloman212

Offline (yesterday at 8:32pm) | Search for a member

Soloman212

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2792
  • Number of comments : 683
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Soloman212 : I've discovered that taking a hit of heroin into my left pupil allows me to type and read for a short while so I make use of such time lurking FML and posting comments. My life doesn't suck so I don't post any FML's. Being a baboon is so much betyjdyjko gdmlu lqrbd

Soloman212's page activity

Visits<b>The_Sphee</b> - yesterday at 11:42pm<b>zoeconner</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:43pm<b>DavidKnows</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:06am<b>DonkeyTeeth2013</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:34pm<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:11am<b>player20270</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:52am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:35am<b>dandee_one</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:11am<b>ECraine</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:03am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:46am<b>JesusFreak227</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:19pm<b>consultant221b</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:00pm<b>facelick</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:45pm<b>lindsay42711</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:07pm<b>NakMuayAdam</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:54pm<b>bellesuore</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 9:41am<b>sk1tt135</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 9:08am

Soloman212's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of Soloman212's badges

Soloman212's favorite FMLs

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51773) - you deserved it (16533)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26334) - you deserved it (9926)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

#17333987
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34468) - you deserved it (2498)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Savannah - United States (Alaska)

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

#17109341
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30927) - you deserved it (5235)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46653) - you deserved it (9258)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

#14567167
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (6995)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

#14149224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12053) - you deserved it (36751)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by 479firefighter -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML

#13601804
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (6898)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:50pm - health - by oaksac191 - United States (New York)

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35253) - you deserved it (2971)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent a hundred dollars on new "business casual" clothes and took two hours to get ready for my interview with a government agency. My interviewer was blind. FML

#13353654
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25289) - you deserved it (6501)

On 10/07/2010 at 9:55am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

#13107358
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34137) - you deserved it (2366)

On 09/19/2010 at 12:27am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11576) - you deserved it (45701)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

#7603599
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37826) - you deserved it (3866)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

#7568710
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7409) - you deserved it (27189)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49889) - you deserved it (7888)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: