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Soloman212

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Soloman212

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2845
  • Number of comments : 683
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Soloman212 : I've discovered that taking a hit of heroin into my left pupil allows me to type and read for a short while so I make use of such time lurking FML and posting comments. My life doesn't suck so I don't post any FML's. Being a baboon is so much betyjdyjko gdmlu lqrbd

Soloman212's page activity

Visits<b>spursunited</b> - yesterday at 4:44pm<b>BloodNConfetti</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:32pm<b>The_Sphee</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:42pm<b>zoeconner</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:43pm<b>DavidKnows</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:06am<b>DonkeyTeeth2013</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:34pm<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:11am<b>player20270</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:52am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:35am<b>dandee_one</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:11am<b>ECraine</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:03am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:46am<b>JesusFreak227</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:19pm<b>consultant221b</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:00pm<b>facelick</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:45pm<b>lindsay42711</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:07pm<b>NakMuayAdam</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:54pm

Soloman212's FML badges

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See all of Soloman212's badges

Soloman212's favorite FMLs

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30376) - you deserved it (33333)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43504) - you deserved it (7430)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

#20686980
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60255) - you deserved it (8004)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:23am - love - by anonymous - Australia

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37465) - you deserved it (4095)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

#20684142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67102) - you deserved it (5628)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML

#20682410
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46848) - you deserved it (2408)

On 05/23/2013 at 7:25pm - misc - by Dalistair (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45963) - you deserved it (2982)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46735) - you deserved it (2977)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45795) - you deserved it (3499)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40915) - you deserved it (3368)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49849) - you deserved it (6997)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43483) - you deserved it (25387)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46919) - you deserved it (3463)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

#20667410
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50879) - you deserved it (5361)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands



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