Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Soloman212

Search for a member

Soloman212

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2705
  • Number of comments : 680
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Soloman212 : I've discovered that taking a hit of heroin into my left pupil allows me to type and read for a short while so I make use of such time lurking FML and posting comments. My life doesn't suck so I don't post any FML's. Being a baboon is so much betyjdyjko gdmlu lqrbd

Soloman212's page activity

Visits<b>Daylightscar</b> - 16 hours ago<b>dragonrider1959</b> - yesterday at 10:55am<b>amm610</b> - yesterday at 12:42am<b>Squishcentral</b> - yesterday at 12:18am<b>emily4040</b> - yesterday at 11:59pm<b>joaquina</b> - yesterday at 11:09pm<b>flufee2</b> - yesterday at 10:51pm<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - yesterday at 9:18pm<b>greentide</b> - yesterday at 5:21pm<b>thinkaboutit5</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:41am<b>ccciara22</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:46am<b>poopoliciouss</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:51am<b>edvin</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:33pm<b>jjmiller1001</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:45pm<b>HiddenTigres</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:06pm<b>mmtiki</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:22am<b>omnia</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 6:23am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 6:02am

Soloman212's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of Soloman212's badges

Soloman212's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the pool. As I started going up the steps to use the water slide, a kid no older than 10 yanked my swim trunks down to "see what's down there." FML

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27121) - you deserved it (45446)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66540) - you deserved it (4231)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37928) - you deserved it (3576)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58485) - you deserved it (3808)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML

#20738304
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51103) - you deserved it (7720)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49349) - you deserved it (3660)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML

#20734756
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44987) - you deserved it (3713)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52895) - you deserved it (8711)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56911) - you deserved it (4071)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81299) - you deserved it (3452)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30352) - you deserved it (33296)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43448) - you deserved it (7429)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: