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Sollux_Captor

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Sollux_Captor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 106
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Sollux_Captor : ...The fuck ii2 thii2 2hiit?

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Sollux_Captor's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

#20916390
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39286) - you deserved it (3405)

On 10/11/2013 at 12:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25702) - you deserved it (77845)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

#20903481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43566) - you deserved it (2923)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41095) - you deserved it (6376)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42797) - you deserved it (7341)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52409) - you deserved it (2502)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

#20900665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41116) - you deserved it (6886)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48757) - you deserved it (6373)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47726) - you deserved it (8941)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

#20889355
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37788) - you deserved it (2522)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by -.- - United States (California)

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51208) - you deserved it (6188)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

#20885056
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36737) - you deserved it (2486)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39281) - you deserved it (3061)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)



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