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Offline (the 06/20/2016 at 1:44am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6938
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Sockturtle : If you see I've looked at your profile, I can't help it, I'm a curious person.

Sockturtle's page activity

Visits<b>the_aspect</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 9:39pm<b>Avi8r</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 11:46pm<b>tj1540</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:56am<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:52pm<b>bossman20056</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:12am<b>picklelover_meh</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:48am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:39pm<b>CyberSeeker</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:50pm<b>robbyq</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 4:34pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:29pm<b>awsoccerfreak56</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:29pm<b>DonchaLoveMilk</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:58am<b>nyancait</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:31pm<b>Darren22</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:41pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 2:59am<b>kino22x</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 9:09am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 12:45am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:26am

Fucked!<b>Avi8r</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:46am<b>CyberSeeker</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 12:50am

Sockturtle's FML badges


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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Sockturtle's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 2:24am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a work meeting, my boss leaned over to me and whispered, "I suggest we fuck". FML

by M / 09/20/2015 at 7:59pm / United Kingdom (North Somerset) / Intimacy

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

by legitfile.bat.virus.exe / 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

by wo-ow / 06/06/2014 at 7:09pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2014 at 10:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

by wah wah "you raised him" / 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

by Sue Ellen / 04/21/2014 at 11:43am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Love

Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML

by reb / 04/19/2014 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Love

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

by zoegirl_455 / 04/09/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

by fuck you with a bacon cock / 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm / United Kingdom (Moray) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

by wiona / 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, my grandmother is coming over to my family's house to stay for about a week or so. Apparently, the guest room window isn't big enough for her dream catcher, so she wants her cat to sleep in the guest room and she wants to sleep in my room. My parents support this. FML

by themonesterman / 04/02/2014 at 10:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

by bringthemback / 03/29/2014 at 6:34am / United States (South Carolina) / Work