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Sockturtle

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Sockturtle
  • Town/Country : Iowa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 727
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Sockturtle : If you see I've looked at your profile, I can't help it, I'm a curious person.

Sockturtle's last visitors

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Sockturtle's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Sockturtle's badges

Sockturtle's favorite FMLs

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36039) - you deserved it (2716)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

#21103666
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50839) - you deserved it (3228)

On 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm - love - by wiona (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my grandmother is coming over to my family's house to stay for about a week or so. Apparently, the guest room window isn't big enough for her dream catcher, so she wants her cat to sleep in the guest room and she wants to sleep in my room. My parents support this. FML

#21103236
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38930) - you deserved it (3100)

On 04/02/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by themonesterman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42741) - you deserved it (3401)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36302) - you deserved it (4235)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, I realized I'm so scared of my manager that I don't even dare to quit my job. The same job I want to quit exactly because I'm so scared of her. FML

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

#21087493
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53906) - you deserved it (4099)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm - love - by broken vows (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went shopping for a wedding dress at a fancy store. The proprietor took one look at me, said they don't have any dresses large enough for me, and asked me to leave. No wonder my self-confidence is in the gutter. FML

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45037) - you deserved it (4119)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44391) - you deserved it (6059)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41895) - you deserved it (3696)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, a teenage girl bumped into me and my phone fell out of my hands, and over the Golden Gate Bridge. FML

#21081896
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52447) - you deserved it (5005)

On 03/09/2014 at 1:08am - misc - by Seriously? - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

#21075644
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44666) - you deserved it (5867)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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