SobrietyKills

Search for a member

Offline (the 10/10/2014 at 11:07pm)

SobrietyKills

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 409
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

SobrietyKills's page activity

Visits<b>punmessiah</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 7:56pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:10am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:25pm<b>Supersid333</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 9:37pm<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 3:02pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 5:48pm<b>Jose2018</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:52pm<b>Oddire</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:32am<b>jillyanzen</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:34pm<b>robin00212</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 9:31pm<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:00am<b>joe_potato</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:11am<b>The_Illegal_Juan</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 11:36am<b>allie2590</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:36am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:30pm<b>RaySimon</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 6:12am<b>Epikouros</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 3:10am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:47pm

Fucked!<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 9:02pm

SobrietyKills's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of SobrietyKills's badges

SobrietyKills's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm in Venice for a romantic weekend. While I was gushing about the gondolas, canals and the city of love in general, the only thing my boyfriend could say was, "Wow! How cool is it to be on the set of the Tomb Raider movie?" FML

by annesolmm / 03/27/2014 at 9:17pm / Love

Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar to mine; his is along the lines of cuddling. Not only did I wait until marriage to have sex with this man, apparently he prefers a permanent roommate without benefits. FML

by OverIt / 02/25/2014 at 5:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

by fuck / 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm / Intimacy

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, I was in a Zumba class with a young woman in her 20s and an older woman in her 80s. I couldn't keep up with either one of them. FML

by Username / 01/28/2012 at 2:47pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 4:29am / Reserved / Health

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

by Jon / 06/07/2009 at 2:47am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML

by asdfghjkl / 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy