Snuggly03

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Offline (the 11/27/2014 at 5:28am)

Snuggly03

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  • Number of visits : 861
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Snuggly03's page activity

Visits<b>chuksnwali</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:40pm

Snuggly03's FML badges

50 favourites

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Snuggly03's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

by weirdthingtosay / 11/21/2014 at 4:56am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

by jigglypluff / 11/19/2014 at 12:27am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman. My name is Elsa. FML

by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

by dwood08 / 11/06/2014 at 8:55pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

by anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was shopping at my workplace, out of uniform, with my husband. A customer recognised me and wanted me to serve him, but I couldn't since we can be fired for doing so while off-duty. He complained to my manager, who wasted no time publicly bitching me out. FML

by iskiel / 10/26/2014 at 1:53am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm / United States (Oregon) / Geek

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

by not on life, that's for fucking sure / 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm / United States / Work

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML

by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

by shelookslikemiley / 09/23/2014 at 8:48am / Australia / Geek

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy