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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92219) - you deserved it (8161)
On 03/10/2009 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by petpeeeve (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31130) - you deserved it (65841)
On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (470928) - you deserved it (584785)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (150174) - you deserved it (8969)
On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66659) - you deserved it (3989)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:09am - intimacy - by Yulia (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17680) - you deserved it (120101)
On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (361177) - you deserved it (67405)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42358) - you deserved it (104584)
On 03/05/2009 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (189151) - you deserved it (21757)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55854) - you deserved it (24234)
On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182898) - you deserved it (61937)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (75027) - you deserved it (30825)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France
Monday 17 June 2013
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