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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
TODAY, I TOOK MAH GIRLFRIEND OF FIVE AND A HALF YERES TO FAMILY DINNER AT A RESTAURANT. AFTER WE ALL HAD FINISHED DESSERT, I GOT DOWN ON ONE KNEE, PULLED OUT MAH GREAT GRANDMOTHER'S RING AND PROPOSED. THE ENTIRE RESTAURANT WAS DEAD SILENT. SHE LOOKED AROUND AND THEN SLOWLY WALKED OUT. FML
Today, after ten minutes of squishing mah boobs together 4 mah boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on mah mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with friend's cousin!! After trying to stick his finger up butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me!! I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success!! I ended up having to call friend to help me!! FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal . FML
Today,hile losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm . I don't remember much ofhat I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, looool "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
Today... I found out tat I was not adoptd and in fact my parent r my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long ave I been believing I was adoptd? 22 yeres. Wy did I start believing I was adoptd? My sibling tougt it would be a funny joke. My mom playd along. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silencehen he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear."
Friday 27 March 2015