About SneezyC : Uhm, hi. I'm awkward, I like cats, and food. I play trombone, flute, and keyboard. I sneeze, a lot.
Why am I up so early?
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Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37858) - you deserved it (2510)
On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36006) - you deserved it (4547)
On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (9995)
On 06/17/2013 at 9:55am - health - by nomwar (woman) - United States
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58267) - you deserved it (5719)
On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (21495)
On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43324) - you deserved it (5340)
On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40680) - you deserved it (2563)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32769) - you deserved it (60058)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (49363) - you deserved it (8223)
On 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm - love - by lsababy (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54295) - you deserved it (3474)
On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37111) - you deserved it (5701)
On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)
Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26364) - you deserved it (40443)
On 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (44434)
On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38309) - you deserved it (9762)
On 06/10/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43659) - you deserved it (4887)
On 06/10/2013 at 11:55am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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