Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Snafuusmc : USMC,Guns,and Asian women. Nuff said.
The names Levi and you somehow stumbled upon my profile. I make friends and haters everyday. So, which are you?
Where to begin? Alright well first I'll start off with some food and as a appetizer I'll go with the Asian chicks. For desert I'll have her cat. Oh and a Togo box please!
Meanwhile! a dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Revenge is never a straight line. It's a forest.And like a forest It's easy to lose your way...to get lost...to forget where you came in.
Ohayo gozaimasu! Watashi wa no namae wa Levi desu! O genki desu ka?
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML
Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML
Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML
Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML
Friday 12 December 2014