Smoot7

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Smoot7

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  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 5028
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Smoot7's page activity

Visits<b>AmyPond17</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 9:48am<b>Tannasgh</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 3:18pm<b>funnybunny89</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:22pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 1:59pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:48pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 6:02am

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Smoot7's favorite FMLs

Today, I met the old couple I would be house-sitting for. As I was leaving the lady stuck her fist out towards me. After a seconds awkward pause I thought she wanted to fist-bump so stuck mine out and bumped. Turned out she was handing me the key. FML

by Krystl / 09/18/2016 at 12:35pm / Australia / Work

Today, in science class, I was bored and playing with a paper towel, dipping it into a container of water. When my teacher caught me and asked what I was doing, I panicked and said I was 'drying the water'. FML

by slitherasssnape / 09/13/2016 at 2:53pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Work

Today, I was at work and a guy walked up holding his phone with the camera facing me. He then looks up at me and says, "I'm not taking a picture of you. I'm just trying to catch a Pokemon." And here I was thinking that I looked nice today. FML

by FML / 07/11/2016 at 5:16pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I went into my kitchen after placing a line of salt across the floor in front of the back door the night before to ward off slugs that keep getting in, only to find 12 idiotic slugs dead and shrivelled up, leaving a horrible gooey mess. I don't know why I expected any intelligence from them. FML

by Spongebob Garypants / 05/25/2016 at 10:05pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals

Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML

by Chin... uh.... / 05/10/2016 at 6:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, while waiting in line with my 4-year-old son, I had to awkwardly apologize to an African-American gentleman and explain to my son that the man was not made out of chocolate. FML

by BenFiggy / 04/21/2016 at 9:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

by Dipping Tired / 04/20/2016 at 7:17pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML

by RestlessDiesel / 04/18/2016 at 10:40am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML

by farmingman / 04/14/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

by Crap / 04/12/2016 at 12:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my hair got stuck in my umbrella. I asked for help from passers-by, but all I got was weird looks as they hurried past me. FML

by Littlethings1 / 03/31/2016 at 1:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone accused me of stuffing my bra when some tissue fell out. I was too embarrassed to tell them I wasn't stuffing, the tissue was used to sop up my boob sweat. FML

by sunkissedevil / 03/30/2016 at 10:52pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sat at work for 8 hours daydreaming about the homemade 4 cheese ravioli I would come home to after spending 3 hours making it from scratch the night before. When I finally got home and heated the ravioli, I dropped it all over my feet, giving me second degree burns. FML

by HolyRavioli / 03/21/2016 at 1:37pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Druncle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML

by drucle / 03/18/2016 at 8:49am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Health