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Smoot7

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Smoot7

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  • Number of visits : 1217
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Smoot7's page activity

Visits<b>91hayek</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:48pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 6:02am

Smoot7's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Smoot7's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24569) - you deserved it (3790)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (14947)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22571) - you deserved it (33242)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32028) - you deserved it (3544)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45260) - you deserved it (3475)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (3754)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39597) - you deserved it (3572)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML

#21260387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32509) - you deserved it (2461)

On 09/18/2014 at 12:05am - health - by adamwilcockson - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41022) - you deserved it (4327)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31610) - you deserved it (18185)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36666) - you deserved it (3198)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41918) - you deserved it (11669)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought a new beanbag chair. My cat thought it was a great scratcher and I now have thousands of tiny plastic balls around the house. He decided those looked yummy, and now the scent of vomit and plastic is awful. FML

#21251355
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31256) - you deserved it (4692)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:13pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46833) - you deserved it (3798)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)



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