Smoked_Bacon

Search for a member

Offline (the 05/17/2014 at 6:28pm)

Smoked_Bacon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 November 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1807
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Smoked_Bacon : Hello, I'm Alice.
I play guitar, bass, ukulele, piano and drums. I like The Who, The Beatles, Sleeping With Sirens, Pierce The Veil and other bands like that. My favourite band is Blink-182.
I love DC and Marvel. My favourite film is Back To The Future.
I have a cat called Tarzan and a bearded dragon called Zukie. My favourite animals are sloths
When I'm older I'd like to be either a herpetologist or teach zoology.

Smoked_Bacon's page activity

Visits<b>barrelracing1210</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:17pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 12:07am<b>appelflap</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 8:30am<b>jondmon91</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 6:43pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 7:49pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 12:28pm<b>maggySNP</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 9:17pm

Smoked_Bacon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Smoked_Bacon's badges

Smoked_Bacon's favorite FMLs

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

by AppoKing / 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

by dirtyhands / 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

by EK / 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

by MichiganExile / 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

by GavinHosler / 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

by im_a_mocker / 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

by Noname / 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm / Japan (Fukuoka) / Health

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

by killmyself / 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

by poupi / 12/25/2008 at 7:57am / Miscellaneous

Today, someone stole both rear view mirrors from my scooter. And where was the police? They were 500m down the road, waiting to stop me for not having any mirrors. FML

by daddy / 12/22/2008 at 12:43am / Money

Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML

by Pfff / 12/11/2008 at 5:40am / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

by Gregory / 11/28/2008 at 5:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML

by RaYan / 10/13/2008 at 4:22am / Miscellaneous