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Smoked_Bacon

Offline (the 05/17/2014 at 6:28pm) | Search for a member

Smoked_Bacon

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 November 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 724
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Smoked_Bacon : Hello, I'm Alice.
I play guitar, bass, ukulele, piano and drums. I like The Who, The Beatles, Sleeping With Sirens, Pierce The Veil and other bands like that. My favourite band is Blink-182.
I love DC and Marvel. My favourite film is Back To The Future.
I have a cat called Tarzan and a bearded dragon called Zukie. My favourite animals are sloths
When I'm older I'd like to be either a herpetologist or teach zoology.

Smoked_Bacon's page activity

Visits<b>barrelracing1210</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:17pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 12:07am<b>appelflap</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 8:30am<b>jondmon91</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 6:43pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 7:49pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 12:28pm<b>maggySNP</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 9:17pm

Smoked_Bacon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Smoked_Bacon's badges

Smoked_Bacon's favorite FMLs

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

#70419
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24462) - you deserved it (57427)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

#55148
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37434) - you deserved it (6891)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - love - by EK (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26940) - you deserved it (5098)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38024) - you deserved it (29872)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

#3178
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17683) - you deserved it (4757)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by im_a_mocker - United States (New York)

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46096) - you deserved it (2325)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

#2357
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14183) - you deserved it (40678)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19789) - you deserved it (6108)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone stole both rear view mirrors from my scooter. And where was the police? They were 500m down the road, waiting to stop me for not having any mirrors. FML

#569
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (1729)

On 12/22/2008 at 12:43am - money - by daddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML

#492
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17595) - you deserved it (6730)

On 12/11/2008 at 5:40am - misc - by Pfff - Sent from mobile version

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

#407
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21266) - you deserved it (5223)

On 11/28/2008 at 5:28am - misc - by Gregory - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML

#10
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29173) - you deserved it (69919)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:22am - misc - by RaYan -



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