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Smoked_Bacon

Offline (the 05/17/2014 at 6:28pm) | Search for a member

Smoked_Bacon

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 November 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 611
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Smoked_Bacon : Hello, I'm Alice.
I play guitar, bass, ukulele, piano and drums. I like The Who, The Beatles, Sleeping With Sirens, Pierce The Veil and other bands like that. My favourite band is Blink-182.
I love DC and Marvel. My favourite film is Back To The Future.
I have a cat called Tarzan and a bearded dragon called Zukie. My favourite animals are sloths
When I'm older I'd like to be either a herpetologist or teach zoology.

Smoked_Bacon's page activity

Visits<b>barrelracing1210</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:17pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 12:07am<b>appelflap</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 8:30am<b>jondmon91</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 6:43pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 7:49pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 12:28pm<b>maggySNP</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 9:17pm

Smoked_Bacon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Smoked_Bacon's badges

Smoked_Bacon's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20872) - you deserved it (219553)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31904) - you deserved it (141128)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76709) - you deserved it (23375)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (261372) - you deserved it (17228)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

#1453860
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (148397) - you deserved it (11841)

On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63374) - you deserved it (28812)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (92786)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML

#1148346
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40667) - you deserved it (23133)

On 04/20/2009 at 8:21am - misc - by indi1011 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

#797956
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94846) - you deserved it (41688)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML

#713062
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111165) - you deserved it (5865)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Julie - Canada (Alberta)



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