About SmittyJA24 : Retired football player; now I play golf, smoke cigars, drink fine whisky, skinny-dip in the Caribbean and enjoy life.
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SmittyJA24's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 8:22am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, I washed my boyfriend's work clothes, trying to make up for a fight we had earlier. After taking them out, I found his phone, wallet and keys at the bottom of the washer, completly waterlogged. This is not the peace offering I'd hoped for. FML
by bigbagofnope / 06/17/2016 at 4:17pm / United Kingdom / Love
by anonymous / 06/14/2016 at 12:47pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by confused_cashier / 06/11/2016 at 9:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML
by Arachnaphobe / 06/03/2016 at 6:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/03/2016 at 3:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/31/2016 at 12:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by ShouldICallYouDaddy / 04/30/2016 at 7:49am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy
by Wilhelm / 04/26/2016 at 10:47am / Philippines (Manila) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ran into a new guy at work who told me the regional manager was visiting today to evaluate the staff. I scoffed and said that everything I'd heard about the manager made him seem like a total prick. His reply? "Maybe, but I'm a prick who can FIRE people." FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2016 at 6:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, I went to take my permit test. I had been studying for months and was familiar with the whole book. When I sat down to take my test, I didn't recognize any of the questions. I went home and found out the book I used to study was the book my mom used to take her test in 1970. FML
by dk_2k16 / 04/12/2016 at 4:29pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work
Today, I found out my mother drives my car. I was okay with it; I don't use it all the time and she's my mother. However, I was not okay with the multiple speeding tickets that came through in the post. "You're the registered keeper, so why should I pay?" FML
by NowBroke / 04/04/2016 at 5:38am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Transportation
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
by Anonymous / 02/20/2016 at 7:53am / United Kingdom (Merton) / Love
Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I saw a woman in her late thirties pull out some hair and put it in her food, then threaten to sue me and the restaurant. She also told me no one would believe me, a teenager, when I told her I saw her put it there. FML
by jesuscrip / 02/18/2016 at 1:08am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, my 13 year-old son had a seizure in the middle of his history class. We were at the hospital for three hours and several expensive tests later he informed me he faked the seizure so he could get out of a group presentation. He was so proud that he was such a good actor. FML
by EllieS9311 / 02/16/2016 at 8:16am / United States (Alabama) / Kids
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…