About Smile_Bitches : I love to listen to music. I adore piercings, and I am a military brat.
Smile_Bitches's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Smile_Bitches's favorite FMLs
by May / 09/04/2011 at 12:08am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was supposed to catch a ride with a friend and go to Warped Tour with her. She called at the last minute to say she was sick, so I told her we didn't have to go. I just got a text saying she just got pictures and autographs with the band I especially wanted to see. FML
by brittgreen / 08/11/2011 at 4:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
by Chels / 05/11/2011 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by LoveMyNewBro / 01/04/2011 at 5:56am / Intimacy
by NeverDrinkingAgain / 12/09/2010 at 7:31am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML
Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML
by nilssonfan / 11/17/2010 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man pulls in and asks me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replies, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2010 at 5:41am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML
by ewmomew / 09/12/2010 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by urgg / 09/05/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy
Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML
by notworthit / 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Mom / 07/25/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…