Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Smile_Bitches

Search for a member

Smile_Bitches

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 449
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Smile_Bitches : I love to listen to music. I adore piercings, and I am a military brat.

Smile_Bitches's page activity

Visits<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 4:12pm<b>oddx1</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 3:11pm<b>whirlednews</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 1:53pm<b>fuuwallflower</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 4:15pm<b>iKoreaBunni</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:28am<b>oloy</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 2:07am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 9:00pm<b>pillowcases</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 10:34pm<b>Sir_ND_Pity</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 2:49am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 7:38pm

Smile_Bitches's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Smile_Bitches's badges

Smile_Bitches's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

#17657733
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39093) - you deserved it (5621)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today, I was supposed to catch a ride with a friend and go to Warped Tour with her. She called at the last minute to say she was sick, so I told her we didn't have to go. I just got a text saying she just got pictures and autographs with the band I especially wanted to see. FML

#17442115
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34503) - you deserved it (3223)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by brittgreen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51212) - you deserved it (9842)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60968) - you deserved it (4749)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

#14460417
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44511) - you deserved it (5363)

On 01/04/2011 at 5:56am - intimacy - by LoveMyNewBro -

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

#14140366
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17507) - you deserved it (38572)

On 12/09/2010 at 7:31am - intimacy - by NeverDrinkingAgain - Canada

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60791) - you deserved it (8951)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23038) - you deserved it (5258)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63996) - you deserved it (9101)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man pulls in and asks me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replies, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

#13326946
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29172) - you deserved it (6093)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

#13012343
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22836) - you deserved it (8511)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ewmomew (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

#12915850
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29096) - you deserved it (4493)

On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

#8563536
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (3952)

On 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by notworthit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML

#4034101
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40922) - you deserved it (23663)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Mom (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: