Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Smf13

Online | Search for a member

Smf13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 240
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Smf13's page activity

Visits<b>Knox_Murderz</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 10:33pm

Smf13's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Smf13's favorite FMLs

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24540) - you deserved it (8950)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, I was on hold with a company for so long that I was able to shower, clean my house, and was using the hold music to put my son to sleep. FML

Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML

#21456542
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24166) - you deserved it (1866)

On 08/16/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by fire starter - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my mom bought roll on stick glue that looks quite a bit like deodorant. It was early in the morning and I was groggy. Long story short, I had to cut every one of my pit hairs. FML

#21456333
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18790) - you deserved it (3753)

On 08/15/2015 at 12:50pm - health - by someboody - United States (California)

Today, I fed my 4ft python a live rat for the first time. He now has a new friend he won't let me near. FML

Today, my dad got so drunk that I had to drive him home. He kept yelling at me to not speed, saying I was going too fast and that there were too many bumps on the road. I hadn't even started the car yet. FML

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

#21429802
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (1747)

On 06/21/2015 at 10:16pm - animals - by Angel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

#21414312
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28662) - you deserved it (2316)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17611) - you deserved it (32952)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28973) - you deserved it (3027)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27668) - you deserved it (3303)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

#21314000
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31806) - you deserved it (5383)

On 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by #goodbyelife - United States

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32875) - you deserved it (2556)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34424) - you deserved it (3966)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35241) - you deserved it (5179)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: