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SmelloJello

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SmelloJello
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1315
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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SmelloJello's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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SmelloJello's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my boyfriends mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp comes up from my throat. And not only that. A small chunk of mucus flies out and lands on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

#7063669
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21920) - you deserved it (4686)

On 12/31/2009 at 7:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was getting ready to go out when I noticed that after several months of annoyance, the faucet stopped dripping. I started to dance around my bathroom when all of a sudden I slipped and hit my head on the sink. The faucet is dripping again. FML

#7034153
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19295) - you deserved it (12037)

On 12/30/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by dripping sink - United States

Today, I had my noise-canceling headphones on and a girl sitting next to me raised her glass at me. I thought she meant "cheers". So I did a "cheers" with her. When I drank my juice, it was only then did I realize that she was trying to tell me the flight attendant had mixed up our drinks. FML

#7024040
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6566) - you deserved it (21240)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by lala456 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML

#6787004
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5300) - you deserved it (27366)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by sarabalism (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

#6625843
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22659) - you deserved it (8394)

On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

#6546053
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11449) - you deserved it (25855)

On 12/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by helper (man) - Costa Rica (Heredia)

Today, as I left class I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted "Let go!". I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML

#6369387
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8517) - you deserved it (21876)

On 11/19/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by betamaxjim (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7706) - you deserved it (25601)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

#6008433
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28252) - you deserved it (2877)

On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7476) - you deserved it (39945)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML

#5682176
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30086) - you deserved it (6723)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by Crotch_Rocket_Rider (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML

#5504838
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7433) - you deserved it (41888)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11058) - you deserved it (38870)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML

#4622066
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8376) - you deserved it (79922)

On 08/18/2009 at 4:04am - misc - by probably_the_ex_now (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

#4285773
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13786) - you deserved it (32445)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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