Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Smash_It_Up

Search for a member

Smash_It_Up

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 19 October 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5664
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Smash_It_Up's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:19pm<b>Saaamxoh</b> - the 07/13/2009 at 7:01pm<b>SilentBob2040</b> - the 06/08/2009 at 3:05pm<b>Enjoy_</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 10:45am<b>DizzyDemon0</b> - the 04/21/2009 at 5:46pm<b>masterofdisaster</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 2:23am<b>Gabriel</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 12:00am<b>Chaith</b> - the 03/24/2009 at 9:07pm<b>factotum</b> - the 03/24/2009 at 5:10pm<b>CTL</b> - the 03/19/2009 at 5:35am<b>Sure_Thing</b> - the 03/18/2009 at 12:21pm<b>tsezu</b> - the 03/16/2009 at 12:13pm<b>LDRSCHI1354</b> - the 03/15/2009 at 9:48pm<b>TheLoneWolf</b> - the 03/15/2009 at 5:27pm<b>Shene</b> - the 03/10/2009 at 8:05pm<b>deeznutzismine</b> - the 03/10/2009 at 1:26pm<b>fedgirl</b> - the 03/10/2009 at 1:04am<b>Kingrayer</b> - the 03/09/2009 at 10:41pm

Smash_It_Up's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Smash_It_Up's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

#1687586
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13840) - you deserved it (57047)

On 05/06/2009 at 10:07am - animals - by pissedoffandon (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got my hair dyed at a fancy salon. While the stylist was pulling out the foils in my hair I sat up and started screaming in pain because the hot foils were burning my scalp. All she said was "oh, you're fine". I went back home to find an oozing burn wound on my scalp. FML

#1685097
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59400) - you deserved it (3760)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:57am - misc - by random (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (69955)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

#1628197
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25957) - you deserved it (67725)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML

#1625692
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60691) - you deserved it (3160)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

#1620980
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40289) - you deserved it (26498)

On 05/04/2009 at 8:37am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday. Along with a pair of $80 shoes, I bought him a birthday cake, his favorite ice cream and a $15 balloon. I showed up to the party and he was very intoxicated. So intoxicated that he pops the balloon, drops the cake, and throws up all over his new shoes. FML

#1589667
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62244) - you deserved it (7600)

On 05/03/2009 at 11:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML

#1588127
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48302) - you deserved it (7808)

On 05/03/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by TooShort (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. When I was approaching a stop sign, I look next to me and see a guy with a triangle shaped head. I tell my son "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML

#1587848
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7875) - you deserved it (65536)

On 05/03/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by mylifesucks123 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

#1586580
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13771) - you deserved it (56299)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

#1579657
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57406) - you deserved it (3833)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML

#1578524
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58985) - you deserved it (3771)

On 05/02/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by fuckerman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#1564480
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18839) - you deserved it (43100)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

#1551610
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92801) - you deserved it (9080)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (182414) - you deserved it (46912)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: