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About Smartdumbblonde : Hey stalker! ;D I am a blue eyed, (natural) blonde, who likes to talk. A lot. I like singing, acting, and writing, and stuff like that. I am a pretty outgoing, outspoken, and open person. I'm not afraid to be honest, sometimes I come across as a bitch, but I am a really nice person. My kik is i_lovePierceTheVeil if you wanna talk, or you can message me, I just won't reply back as quickly. I have Instagram ( bringmethe_tacos__andbands_ ) so if you wanna you can look at it and maybe follow me. I love the bands PTV, SWS, ADTR, BVB, Hollywood Undead, OM&M, BMTH and more bands similar to them, but I generally like all kinds of music and open to new types of music. Pip pip ta do da lee do run along now and remember Cockadoodledo the cow says moo and that is all.
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Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML
Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014