Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Smartdumbblonde

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

Smartdumbblonde

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 June 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2164
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Smartdumbblonde : Hey stalker! ;D I am a blue eyed, (natural) blonde, who likes to talk. A lot. I like singing, acting, and writing, and stuff like that. I am a pretty outgoing, outspoken, and open person. I'm not afraid to be honest, sometimes I come across as a bitch, but I am a really nice person. My kik is i_lovePierceTheVeil if you wanna talk, or you can message me, I just won't reply back as quickly. I have Instagram ( bringmethe_tacos__andbands_ ) so if you wanna you can look at it and maybe follow me. I love the bands PTV, SWS, ADTR, BVB, Hollywood Undead, OM&M, BMTH and more bands similar to them, but I generally like all kinds of music and open to new types of music. Pip pip ta do da lee do run along now and remember Cockadoodledo the cow says moo and that is all.

Smartdumbblonde's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:24pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:38pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 5:40pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:13pm<b>lil_miss_simran</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:19pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:32pm<b>TheWildNegro</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 12:12pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:52am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:38pm<b>dinkibus</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:37pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:09pm<b>cainightroad</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:57pm<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:01am<b>LEDZEPPALLTHEWAY</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:22pm<b>Evanito007</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:09am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:46am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 8:49pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:30pm

Smartdumbblonde's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Smartdumbblonde's badges

Smartdumbblonde's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59242) - you deserved it (5419)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47512) - you deserved it (8743)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45092) - you deserved it (8846)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54516) - you deserved it (5240)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53426) - you deserved it (8507)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, while I was eating cereal, my mother thought it would be appropriate to grab the bowl and start spoon-feeding me while making airplane noises, again. I'm 19. FML

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51301) - you deserved it (11682)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, one of my coworkers asked if I hated my life and was depressed because of how I look most of the time. This is just my facial expression. FML

#20802256
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37393) - you deserved it (4542)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:44am - work - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67362) - you deserved it (3983)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60276) - you deserved it (4382)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41663) - you deserved it (9014)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50451) - you deserved it (4171)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: