About Smartdumbblonde : I know im beautiful, now stop staring. I hope you have fun stalking me :D. I can be bitchy if I want/need to. I am probably the most random person ever! I'm single, fun, and flirty. I am very outgoing, but I am shy when you first meet me. Some things I like to do for fun is writing stories, hanging out with friends, doing my hair and makeup for no reason, taking pictures of myself and stuff like that. When I get older, I hope to be a model and an actress. Just so you know, my real birthday is June 2, 1999, but the FML app doesn't think that is a real date for some reason. I love meeting new people and making new friends! Now that you know a little bit about me, I would like to get to know you, so message me!
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Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47869) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20495) - you deserved it (5598)
On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (3918)
On 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Eddie (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25010) - you deserved it (3875)
On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24809) - you deserved it (79136)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (6588)
On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13518) - you deserved it (58354)
On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35440) - you deserved it (4359)
On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21057) - you deserved it (25274)
On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47503) - you deserved it (21370)
On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24755) - you deserved it (15686) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56618) - you deserved it (6312)
On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)
Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6508) - you deserved it (26886)
On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I am meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In so doing, I accidentally touched the iron to my neck, and now I have a burn there that closely resembles a hickey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20698) - you deserved it (3271)
On 02/04/2010 at 1:28pm - love - by Minabee (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20917) - you deserved it (4530)
On 01/19/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Fatlady43 (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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