Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Smartdumbblonde

Offline (yesterday at 7:40pm) | Search for a member

Smartdumbblonde

9Fucked!

SmartdumbblondeSmartdumbblonde
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 June 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4608
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Smartdumbblonde : Happy llama, sad llama, mentally disturbed llama, super llama, drama llama, big fat mama llama.. hii I'm Amanda, and I love bands and YouTubers😊 I could say so much about myself, but I heard that's being conceited ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ wanna talk? kik: i_lovePierceTheVeil . Pip pip ta do da lee do, run along now and remember Cockadoodledo the cow says moo and that is all.

Smartdumbblonde's page activity

Visits<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:55pm<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:26am<b>tia587us</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:53am<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:39pm<b>somethingstupd</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:47pm<b>Samweil</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 4:49pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:49am<b>moron011</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:16pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 11:16pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 4:40pm<b>jjmack34</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 10:03pm<b>Flames2222</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 10:10am<b>swarm20</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:03pm<b>paulokn465</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:46pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:11am<b>naw</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:07pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:22pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:25pm

Fucked!<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 12:39am<b>somethingstupd</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:47am<b>imkool136</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:49am<b>moron011</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 4:04am<b>naw</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 11:07pm<b>nana_star</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:51pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 5:22pm<b>zack1717</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:44am<b>Hunter4413</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:36am

Smartdumbblonde's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Smartdumbblonde's badges

Smartdumbblonde's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70) - you deserved it (162)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131) - you deserved it (30)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31274) - you deserved it (6498)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28544) - you deserved it (3073)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33045) - you deserved it (3908)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (210) - you deserved it (31845)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and can barely move my arm. My friends keep asking if I'm sure it wasn't from jerking off too much. Truth is, I pulled it by playing on my computer too much. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36786) - you deserved it (5103)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36347) - you deserved it (3464)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18803) - you deserved it (35673)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

#21351356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (10236)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

#21351174
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38588) - you deserved it (2549)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by depressedskatergirl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30021) - you deserved it (5134)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40536) - you deserved it (4191)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30690) - you deserved it (4659)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: