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Offline (the 09/10/2015 at 7:34pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 June 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6844
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Smartdumbblonde : o hi I'm Amanda 🌚 I'm just your average teen who's glued to her phone screen. Just someone who sits around her room, listening to too loud music, or watching supernatural. I used to be optimistic, but society is making me pessimistic. Sometimes I try to be poetic, writing stories, and even poetry. Too lame to be rad, but too rad to be lame. Instagram: @self_destructiive
wanna talk? kik: i_lovePierceTheVeil . Pip pip ta do da lee do, run along now and remember Cockadoodledo the cow says moo and that is all.

Smartdumbblonde's page activity

Visits<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 8:08pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 11:09pm<b>200pap</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 4:52pm<b>ActuallyCrazy</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 2:07pm<b>Mons</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 10:25pm<b>NAH2000</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 5:52pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 6:15pm<b>Anti_Sora</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 1:49pm<b>ZeroDark30</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:55am<b>idkwyatt</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 11:44pm<b>majoroftheair</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:41pm<b>SixxAM</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 4:34am<b>gronkmonsta87</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 9:37pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 9:40pm<b>prodigy57271</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:49pm<b>george00</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:13pm<b>moron011</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:25pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:34am

Fucked!<b>NAH2000</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:27pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:37am<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 12:39am<b>somethingstupd</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:47am<b>imkool136</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:49am<b>moron011</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 4:04am<b>naw</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 11:07pm<b>nana_star</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:51pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 5:22pm<b>zack1717</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:44am<b>Hunter4413</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:36am

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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Smartdumbblonde's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

by love and tolerape, apparently / 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm / India (Jharkhand) / Intimacy

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

by Sarah1330 / 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm / United States / Animals

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

by poncho55 / 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

by heymacie / 02/19/2015 at 12:45am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and can barely move my arm. My friends keep asking if I'm sure it wasn't from jerking off too much. Truth is, I pulled it by playing on my computer too much. FML

by Pleonasm / 02/18/2015 at 10:14am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

by jessybear777 / 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 4:09am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

by depressedskatergirl / 02/06/2015 at 9:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

by Milked Richard / 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

by bootyislife / 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 2:57am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

by anon / 01/19/2015 at 12:35am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy