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SlytherinSyd

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SlytherinSyd
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 February 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 749
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SlytherinSyd : hey! I'm just here for the laughs. (: Kik: SlytherinSyd

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SlytherinSyd's favorite FMLs

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22430) - you deserved it (3539)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13689) - you deserved it (36470)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was terribly nervous for my patient interview exam as a 4th year medical student. In my nervousness I learned that just because a patient is wearing a T-shirt and shorts, has a short hair cut and a moustache and is named 'Chris', it is not safe to assume that they are male. FML

#18410783
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (3596)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:40am - work - by Monday (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32145) - you deserved it (2289)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33880) - you deserved it (18246)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39088) - you deserved it (7375)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15115) - you deserved it (28072)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

#18037995
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43370) - you deserved it (2903)

On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

#17910752
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21373) - you deserved it (7320)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

#17786255
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48051) - you deserved it (5816)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53219) - you deserved it (5255)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

#17757259
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (2498)

On 09/16/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by Smart - United States

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32007) - you deserved it (4154)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18683) - you deserved it (39382)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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