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SlytherinSyd

Offline (the 07/10/2015 at 7:31am) | Search for a member

SlytherinSyd

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3250
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SlytherinSyd : hey! I'm just here for the laughs. (:

SlytherinSyd's page activity

Visits<b>hantu69</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:25pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:01pm<b>bunkiii</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:25pm<b>ShadowOfHope</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 5:21am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 11:51am<b>spatula232</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:30am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:46pm<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Metashock</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:17pm<b>porter1313</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 1:15am<b>Loomunati</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:24am<b>fergiefergs</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:33am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 9:30pm<b>alliane</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:44am<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:02pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:49am<b>driftlobster</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:38am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:37pm

Fucked!<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:02am<b>ShadowOfHope</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:21am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:51pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:45am

SlytherinSyd's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of SlytherinSyd's badges

SlytherinSyd's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68530) - you deserved it (17358)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84349) - you deserved it (8728)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71988) - you deserved it (10977)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

#20560730
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51587) - you deserved it (6751)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39237) - you deserved it (7129)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31508) - you deserved it (5914)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

#20555936
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35502) - you deserved it (8993)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

#20555878
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55991) - you deserved it (8148)

On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49335) - you deserved it (22044)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

#20543433
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48304) - you deserved it (9649)

On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33198) - you deserved it (51098) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49812) - you deserved it (24569)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21898) - you deserved it (62175)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56165) - you deserved it (14708)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States



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