Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SlytherinSyd

Offline (the 08/29/2015 at 5:47am) | Search for a member

SlytherinSyd

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3373
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SlytherinSyd : hey! I'm just here for the laughs. (:

SlytherinSyd's page activity

Visits<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 7:56pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 3:09am<b>thinblue32</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 6:46pm<b>Cameron05233250</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:56am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 10:38pm<b>hantu69</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:25pm<b>bunkiii</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:25pm<b>ShadowOfHope</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 5:21am<b>spatula232</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:30am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:46pm<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Metashock</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:17pm<b>porter1313</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 1:15am<b>Loomunati</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:24am<b>fergiefergs</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:33am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 9:30pm<b>alliane</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:44am<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:02pm

Fucked!<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:02am<b>ShadowOfHope</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:21am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:51pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:45am

SlytherinSyd's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of SlytherinSyd's badges

SlytherinSyd's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48292) - you deserved it (8163)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21920) - you deserved it (53118)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47796) - you deserved it (16055)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68787) - you deserved it (17414)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84390) - you deserved it (8734)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72557) - you deserved it (11079)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

#20560730
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51613) - you deserved it (6752)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39969) - you deserved it (7202)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31523) - you deserved it (5918)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

#20555936
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38015) - you deserved it (9315)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

#20555878
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58990) - you deserved it (8469)

On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51273) - you deserved it (22852)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

#20543433
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48324) - you deserved it (9651)

On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33233) - you deserved it (51111) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: