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SlytherinSyd

Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 5:41am) | Search for a member

SlytherinSyd

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1288
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SlytherinSyd : hey! I'm just here for the laughs. (:

SlytherinSyd's page activity

Visits<b>alliane</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:44am<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:02pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:49am<b>driftlobster</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:38am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:37pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:54am<b>dk1991</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 8:55am<b>rainyday12345</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:12am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:50am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:01am<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:48am<b>A07</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 1:24am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:54am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 2:43pm<b>JustClaire95</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:29am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 8:27pm<b>JustAnotherJose2</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Undecided_Jesus</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 5:47pm

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SlytherinSyd's favorite FMLs

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37405) - you deserved it (3256)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
111 comments

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47908) - you deserved it (23045)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

#20822120
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51251) - you deserved it (14534)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56180) - you deserved it (8795)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61161) - you deserved it (9112)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44639) - you deserved it (8826)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37296) - you deserved it (67744)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

#20720590
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34732) - you deserved it (71492)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54988) - you deserved it (64099)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (65484)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55496) - you deserved it (5022)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68001) - you deserved it (4150)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45885) - you deserved it (3394)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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