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SlytherinSyd

Offline (the 07/10/2015 at 7:31am) | Search for a member

SlytherinSyd

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3277
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SlytherinSyd : hey! I'm just here for the laughs. (:

SlytherinSyd's page activity

Visits<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 10:38pm<b>hantu69</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:25pm<b>bunkiii</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:25pm<b>ShadowOfHope</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 5:21am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 11:51am<b>spatula232</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:30am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:46pm<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Metashock</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:17pm<b>porter1313</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 1:15am<b>Loomunati</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:24am<b>fergiefergs</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:33am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 9:30pm<b>alliane</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:44am<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:02pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:49am<b>driftlobster</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:38am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:37pm

Fucked!<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:02am<b>ShadowOfHope</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:21am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:51pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:45am

SlytherinSyd's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of SlytherinSyd's badges

SlytherinSyd's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26790) - you deserved it (32989)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52807) - you deserved it (18636)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45821) - you deserved it (13815)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58358) - you deserved it (5856)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

#21014374
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43207) - you deserved it (4636)

On 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40631) - you deserved it (3242)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50853) - you deserved it (26392)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38479) - you deserved it (3514)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49250) - you deserved it (6485)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56839) - you deserved it (7441)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31256) - you deserved it (14807)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44356) - you deserved it (8206)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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