Sludge3

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Offline (the 12/05/2016 at 3:11pm)

Sludge3

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 12542
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Sludge3's page activity

Visits<b>Ilovemysphynx</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 9:21pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:23am<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:04am

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Sludge3's favorite FMLs

Today, while in deep sleep, I was suddenly awoken by a tickle on my face and nearly threw my cat off the bed. Apparently, 4 a.m. Is the perfect time to touch noses with your human. FML

by Allie cat / 12/02/2016 at 8:43am / Animals

Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML

by Kelly / 11/29/2016 at 1:57pm / Kids

Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML

by ginkobiloba / 11/29/2016 at 6:01am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teaching a new student their first ever piano lesson, hoping that they would sign up for more lessons. Thirty minutes had gone by and after the 5th time of me saying what a talented, sweet little girl she was, the mother told me it was in fact a boy. They didn't sign up. FML

by Charley / 11/25/2016 at 5:44am / Work

Today, I was in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. I dressed and stuffed the turkey, popped it in the oven and sent a mass text out to my family about how amazing it would be. Everyone arrived, we began making plates of food when I checked the turkey, and realized I never even turned on the oven. FML

by ArtistBlock / 11/25/2016 at 12:10am / Holidays

Today, when I went to work, my nice coworker gave me a gift basket. And cookies. I had to tell him that I caught his kid keying my car last night. FML

by Florida / 11/23/2016 at 10:04pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, the district manager visited. Also today, I got called into the office to talk about "personal hygiene". The assistant store manager asked me if I had some kind of medical problem and advised me to shower regularly because my co-workers have been making comments. FML

by S / 11/23/2016 at 4:14pm / Work

Today, I yelled at a new employee for violating the company's makeup policy which is minimum coverage. She had red lipstick, very dark drawn eyebrows, and foundation that made her look like a ghost. She took out a makeup wipe and used it then showed me it, only to reveal she doesn't wear any. FML

by SorrySnowWhite / 11/21/2016 at 3:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbour almost ran over my little sister, and blamed it on his disability. What disability? He has no sense of smell. FML

by 4lphab3t4 / 11/21/2016 at 10:22am / Kids

Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML

by Crazy In-Laws / 11/20/2016 at 5:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML

by Nicoleanne / 11/20/2016 at 9:08am / Intimacy

Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML

by emeraldarcher74 / 11/19/2016 at 1:34pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that sometimes when my girlfriend is mad at me she will allow our unfixed male dog to jack off on my pillows when I'm at work. She won the battle and the war. FML

by NotTHATbad / 11/19/2016 at 12:26pm / Intimacy

Today, I logged on Facebook and saw my friend who'd been engaged, then broke the engagement, then got back together announce their new wedding date: three days before my wedding. She also sent me a message asking if I'd move my date. We've been planning our wedding for two years. She got engaged six months ago. FML

by Terra / 11/19/2016 at 12:14am / Love

Today, after a couple of months of enjoying an informal parking arrangement with a local bank, I found out they sold their extra lot without telling me. The new owner's towing company heard about the deal, though. FML

by CaddyWhack / 11/18/2016 at 3:57pm / Transportation