Sleepwalker

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Sleepwalker

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 June 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14853
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Sleepwalker : I am all the days that you choose to ignore.

Sleepwalker's page activity

Visits<b>_aPerson_</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 11:41pm<b>coops456</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 6:55am<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 1:51pm<b>valavellan</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 3:03pm<b>minxxx</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:20pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:06pm<b>pandamanpants</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:38pm<b>Iogic</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 1:37am<b>jamiecat</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:17pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:44pm<b>rubez08</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:55pm<b>Mipmunk</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:42pm<b>snazman12</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 10:48pm<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 9:14pm<b>Periwinkle623</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 7:07am<b>waterski123</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 1:09am<b>Miss_Swanky</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 5:08pm

Sleepwalker's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Sleepwalker's favorite FMLs

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

by hjgjh / 04/27/2009 at 2:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML

by theatreismylife / 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while walking through the halls of my high school, me and my boyfriend shared a quick kiss. A young teacher walks by and tells us to stop due to Personal Display of Affection rules at our school. She then looks at my boyfriend and tells him he could do so much better. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 5:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML

by CollegeGrad / 04/25/2009 at 2:39am / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 12:13am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

by whatthehell / 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

by anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

by vinniesuckmadack / 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML

by waitforit / 04/23/2009 at 7:42am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

by DBR / 04/23/2009 at 6:45am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled over to help a girl with her car. I thought my limited mechanic skills would help look like a hero. She only needed her coolant cap unscrewed. With top down, shirt off, I was confident as I got out of my car. 10 minutes later I left because I couldn't unscrew the f***ing thing. FML

by edhalen / 04/23/2009 at 3:47am / United States / Transportation

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

by tgstreaks / 04/23/2009 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous