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Sleepwalker418

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Sleepwalker418
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 December 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 5866
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Sleepwalker418 : :] Hi!

I'm not going to do the typical teenage thing and post my picture up and tYpe lYk ThiZ.

I'm just gonna chill, ya' dig?

Sleepwalker418's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Sleepwalker418's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

#1885333
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12363) - you deserved it (70147)

On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

#1866535
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68690) - you deserved it (9771)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112152) - you deserved it (5483)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me. When confronted she told me, "I didn't get wet so it wasn't cheating." FML

#1518333
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76809) - you deserved it (4420)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:50am - intimacy - by amiadori (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me. When confronted she told me, "I didn't get wet so it wasn't cheating." FML

#1518333
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76809) - you deserved it (4420)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:50am - intimacy - by amiadori (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20892) - you deserved it (80254)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

#1026397
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (75968)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

#1017067
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70982) - you deserved it (31515)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:49am - intimacy - by nudesurprise (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

#1014149
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95168) - you deserved it (14282)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

#1012847
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12193) - you deserved it (72341)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by filipinoclari808 (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62055) - you deserved it (18229)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58760) - you deserved it (8848)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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