I am all the days that you choose to ignore.
Today, after 8 years, I confessed one of my best friends I've been in love with him since we were kiddies. His answer was "Don't worry, I won't stop talking to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17384) - you totally deserved it (1826)
On 01/14/2010 at 1:45am - love - by handlin (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I could help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21456) - you totally deserved it (9318)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38114) - you totally deserved it (6761)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50576) - you totally deserved it (6711)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was checking out my boyfriend's facebook profile. I saw that he had just taken the "How long will it take for your girldriend to realize you're cheating on her?" Quiz. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36825) - you totally deserved it (3286)
On 07/25/2009 at 5:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I returned from a month-long stay in a psych ward for severe depression and suicide attempts. The first words my friends say to me when I call them and let them know I'm out? "Does this mean you're not gonna be so emo? 'cause that was really annoying." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31467) - you totally deserved it (17531)
On 07/22/2009 at 1:47am - misc - by emogurl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30723) - you totally deserved it (11724)
On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, a car floated slowly into my lane from the left with no signal. She gazed at the right turn like it was going to kiss her. "What the FUCK, lady?" I shouted, slamming on my brakes. Two seconds later I hear a tiny voice in my back seat, "What fut, YADY?!" My 22 month old son's first full sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13077) - you totally deserved it (40510)
On 06/22/2009 at 1:30am - kids - by ObeyTheFist (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56596) - you totally deserved it (2003)
On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She proceeded to say, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47047) - you totally deserved it (4263)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67327) - you totally deserved it (14036)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me. When confronted she told me, "I didn't get wet so it wasn't cheating." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63510) - you totally deserved it (2910)
On 05/01/2009 at 5:50am - intimacy - by amiadori (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60636) - you totally deserved it (4651)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by cgold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (94256) - you totally deserved it (5630)
On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year old male customer went into explicit detail about the Adult's Only programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming and tries out on his 70 year old wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54891) - you totally deserved it (4020)
On 04/28/2009 at 5:44am - intimacy - by Lockie (man) - Australia (Victoria)
