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SlaveToRetail's favorite FMLs
Today, I wanted to freshen up my room, so I bought some Febreze. Standing on my bed, I began to spray, not noticing that the air vent directly across was turned on. The spray came directly back at me. The doctor says that the irritation in my eyes may last for several days. FML
by prettysmellingbedroom / 02/15/2012 at 9:18am / United States / Health
by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids
by crazytown62 / 02/14/2012 at 10:32am / United States / Love
by Illinoisgirl / 02/14/2012 at 9:29am / Hungary (Budapest) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/14/2012 at 7:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by chlolivia / 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada / Love
Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML
by Username / 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm / India / Kids
by dis_bee_leaf / 02/13/2012 at 11:27am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by SpLo0gIeR / 02/13/2012 at 10:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 02/13/2012 at 6:32am / United States / Health
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
by cieee / 02/13/2012 at 2:09am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Kevin / 02/13/2012 at 1:00am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/12/2012 at 11:45pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The… Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that… Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was…
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, my phone provider informed me that I had 12 messages waiting for me on my voicemail. Happy… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…