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Skythekid

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Skythekid
  • Town/Country : chapel hill, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 April 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 103
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Skythekid : I'm a person nothing more

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Skythekid's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

#20797503
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44217) - you deserved it (2922)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

#20788707
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55434) - you deserved it (18775)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53065) - you deserved it (18204)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92443) - you deserved it (10330)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57490) - you deserved it (19401)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46051) - you deserved it (13317)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

#20584129
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40780) - you deserved it (10403)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

#20583902
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41867) - you deserved it (4302)

On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML

#20583666
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47025) - you deserved it (6307)

On 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by a - United States

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

#20583566
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35090) - you deserved it (16364)

On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

#20583515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44269) - you deserved it (7356)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (2354)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

#20540823
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32542) - you deserved it (5210)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27298) - you deserved it (44589) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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