Skylansmile

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Offline (the 11/02/2014 at 10:10pm)

Skylansmile

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1930
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Skylansmile's page activity

Visits<b>roseyyy2113</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 3:58pm<b>jjmiller1001</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 8:41am<b>DHalo</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 11:19am

Skylansmile's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Skylansmile's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2012 at 10:45am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML

by Courtney / 02/04/2012 at 3:22pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

by tannarox / 01/28/2012 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

by involuntary waxing / 01/15/2012 at 4:00am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

by maddie / 12/27/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML

by it'sabitwindy / 12/09/2011 at 1:05am / United States / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

by Madi / 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why it would be highly offensive and inappropriate for him to go as Caylee Anthony for Halloween. I think he's still planning on doing it. FML

by Miroslav208 / 10/20/2011 at 10:32am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy