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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
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Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (6927)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14077) - you deserved it (22976)
On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19742) - you deserved it (1727)
On 09/17/2011 at 2:56am - misc - by ironik970 - United States (Colorado)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71624) - you deserved it (9143)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22807) - you deserved it (2051)
On 08/28/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by CooBerry3851 - United States (Washington)
Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44689) - you deserved it (4970)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10628) - you deserved it (35854)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)
Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28252) - you deserved it (5101)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37831) - you deserved it (2536)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42871) - you deserved it (6323)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31596) - you deserved it (18210)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I dropped my Xanax. It wasn't until after I washed it down with some water that I realized it was still on the floor and I had actually swallowed a pebble of cat litter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19371) - you deserved it (9506)
On 02/08/2011 at 1:51am - health - by CatLitterLover (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40066) - you deserved it (3032) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (2467) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - love - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Monday 20 May 2013
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