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Skylansmile

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Skylansmile

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1038
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Skylansmile's page activity

Visits<b>roseyyy2113</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 3:58pm<b>jjmiller1001</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 8:41am<b>DHalo</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 11:19am

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Skylansmile's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

#19846175
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26576) - you deserved it (2148)

On 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by thinkimquitting (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37223) - you deserved it (4005)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15002) - you deserved it (28422)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44269) - you deserved it (3205)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

#19508691
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8036) - you deserved it (63471)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (2655)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36162) - you deserved it (2789)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

#19345098
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14411) - you deserved it (25229)

On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

#19312851
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21586) - you deserved it (2386)

On 03/20/2012 at 7:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

#19305380
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18281) - you deserved it (12719)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

#19169657
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29590) - you deserved it (3990)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

#19167589
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20953) - you deserved it (7129)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34109) - you deserved it (4986)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26267) - you deserved it (3509)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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