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Skylansmile

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Skylansmile

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1042
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Skylansmile's page activity

Visits<b>roseyyy2113</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 3:58pm<b>jjmiller1001</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 8:41am<b>DHalo</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 11:19am

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Skylansmile's favorite FMLs

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

#20647224
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61999) - you deserved it (11957)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64583) - you deserved it (5951)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62900) - you deserved it (13804)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

#20638599
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48390) - you deserved it (5167)

On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60484) - you deserved it (9138)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49780) - you deserved it (4694)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79580) - you deserved it (4089)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

#20609675
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52942) - you deserved it (3868)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

#20602754
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42756) - you deserved it (12493)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61878) - you deserved it (5421)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57025) - you deserved it (16038)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50546) - you deserved it (10852)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47328) - you deserved it (4879)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41785) - you deserved it (15694)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20496) - you deserved it (59921)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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