About Skrillexxx69 : I'm pretty much a loser with no social life. Oh yeah, Skateboarding four life, Niggah.
Skrillexxx69's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Skrillexxx69's favorite FMLs
Today, I was studying for a final when I noticed all I had was a blue highlighter. I decided to drive to the store to get a yellow one. On the way there, I got $200 worth of traffic tickets for not stopping at a stop sign. I basically spent $200 because I prefer yellow highlighters over blue. FML
by Noname / 03/11/2009 at 8:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Money
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
by TuralSucks / 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML
by Sarah / 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML
by unemployed / 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML
by collegegirl90 / 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
by tamponmayhem / 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Brad / 03/08/2009 at 12:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I called to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said 'Mommy, I don't want to leave.' She wasn't talking to me. FML
by divorced / 03/07/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
by Cody / 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Pissed Off / 03/07/2009 at 5:13am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by shit_upon_literally / 03/07/2009 at 12:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML
by Can't Spell Worth A Damn / 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…