Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About SkoomAddicted : 'Ello, I am SkoomAddict, if you don't know what Skooma is just google it. I'm a pretty serious gamer...currently playing GTA V, like most other people. If I have anything to say about it is, Trevor is the best character ever created in the GTA series. But other then that, I've been on here for quite a while, just don't like to make a whole lot of appearances. If I do it's probably viewing some one else's profile. I'd comment but I rarely have anything to say. So yeah...
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML
Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML
Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML
Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML
Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
Friday 27 March 2015